The Full Story, Part Two - Clawing Our Way Out Again Really, Really Slowly

When last we left our heroes, they were up to their eyeballs in debt with a lackluster job (financially) and a baby on the way. So, for the next 4 or 5 years, we tried our best to keep expenses WAY down (Angie cried actual tears when we cut out cable) and to increase my income when possible. This really only helped us to keep the pace the credit counselor had set, since other expenses went up during this time with having our first two babies and moving again. Also, we kept having “unexpected” expenses, like car repairs and whatnot, and we never really got the hang of a budget, although the credit counselor had recommended that we make one.

In late 2006, when we first heard about Dave Ramsey, we’d managed to whittle down maybe $17,000 of the $45,000+ peak (looked it up last night; it was closer to $47K) over the course of those 4-5 years. Not awful, but not great by any means. More importantly, though, is that we didn’t really feel like we were getting anywhere, and every time some emergency arose, we’d add something back on credit because we didn’t have any extra money. Baby Step #1 of Dave’s plan was a radical, life-changing concept. We saved up a $1000 fairly quickly, and then we had some breathing room when emergencies struck (as emergencies are wont to do). Did you hear that? That was me just now, breathing a sigh of relief just thinking about it. That one step changed our situation entirely from being one emergency away from more debt to being in control and moving consistently forward. It was awesome. After that, we were fully on board with the plan.

Shortly thereafter, a guy named Joe Sangl came to speak and teach his Financial Learning Experience at our church, which was very helpful as well. The main difference between what Joe and Dave teach in terms of debt-reduction, as far as I can tell, is that Joe doesn’t stress the “as fast as possible” aspect as much as Dave does. I think “as fast as possible” is probably best for most people, but it’s hard to get extremely “gazelle-intense” when you’ve been cutting expenses and working on debt-reduction with not much traction for several years already. Joe freed us up to set a date to be debt-free and work towards that.

We decided early on that, because of our young children and the fact that we were so worn down from working for so long at this, we weren’t going to take any second jobs or cut out Christmas and birthdays and that kind of thing. We scaled those back considerably, but we didn’t sacrifice them altogether to get done faster. I am convinced this was the best decision emotionally, if not financially. Even so, now that we had our Mini-Emergency Fund and thanks to Joe’s budgeting tools, we were finally able to put a workable budget together that let us send about $1000 per month towards debt on average, while continuing to pay for minor automotive emergencies, a third baby, and a sudden multi-day hospital stay.

On February 18th, 2010, we paid off our last credit card, the end of our original debt. On May 17th, we paid off our recent hospital bills and really felt like we were finally debt-free!! So, in the end, with one thing and another, it really did take us nine years to get out of debt, but thanks to Dave (and Joe), we were able to drop almost $17,000 worth of “good debt” in the form of student loans in that time as well. And when we got to talk to Dave Ramsey on the radio to announce our debt-freedom and tell our story, to share our struggle and celebrate its end, it was powerfully anti-climactic. BUT, when we got to gather our family together to scream “WE’RE DEBT FREE!!!” with the help of some other debt-free extended family members, and especially when we got to hear the call again later (thanks to our good friend, Robbie), to realize that this was the culmination and the end of NINE YEARS of feeling like we were constantly broke and that all of the money we earned already belonged to someone else, it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, just below witnessing the birth of my children. Plus the scream itself sounded TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

Just the Scream:


The Full Call:

The Full Story, Part One - Digging the Hole

On Friday, June 11th of this year, Angie and I had the pleasure of speaking with Dave Ramsey on his radio program about how we became debt-free (except for the house; that’ll probably still be a good-ish while). In our brief, 2-minute conversation, we didn’t really get to dive into the meat of how this progressed and what it means to us to be out of debt. I thought I’d try to tackle that here.

On the radio, Angie mentioned that we started out with about $34,000 of debt. This is actually the amount we had when we first heard about Dave Ramsey. Our highest amount of debt was closer to about $45,000. We’d made a LOT of not-so-bright financial decisions, mostly because we weren’t thinking about the financial side of things at all.

We started right away with putting the honeymoon on credit. I had enough money in the bank for the honeymoon from savings and gifts, but when we went to pay for a weeks’ worth of hotel room rental, my bank wouldn’t let me put more than $500 on the debit card without approval, and it was Sunday night, so I couldn’t call them to get the approval. So we used a credit card. Now, the person who says you can use credit wisely would just say, “No big deal. You charge the room to the card, then pay the whole amount off with the money you had in the bank.” See, that’s what I thought, too, that night. But once the trip was over and we got back home, I thought, “you know, we’ve still got all this money in the bank, and we could really use some new furniture.” We already had furniture, but it was old and hodge-podgey, although in hindsight it wasn’t actually poking us with springs or anything; still, a set from Pier One would be much more our style. This may actually qualify as two bad ideas.

The next big bonehead financial non-decision was when we moved to a different state in the middle of our lease with no sub-lessor and no job lined up. We put the movers and several months’ worth of two rents onto credit cards. This is when we started to realize that there was a problem (ya think?). We had considered ourselves relatively generous in Athens; we now got to learn to accept generosity from family and friends who were shielding us from our own stupidity, to some extent. Throughout this time between the honeymoon and (eventually) getting a job in the new place, we’d occasionally put meals out or CDs or other little things on credit. That’s what it’s for, right?

When I finally got a job (which didn’t quite pay all the bills), we went almost immediately to the local credit union to try and get into some sort of credit counseling / debt-consolidation program. I’ve since heard that most debt-consolidation plans are actually scams. This program, though, was actually pretty good, for two reasons. Number one, instead of the debt consolidators taking the money and running or one of the other scams, the credit union’s folks would pay off all the debt on your behalf, and give you a single low-interest loan for the full amount that you’d then pay back, thereby honoring all your obligations but giving you a little breathing room. The second reason this particular one was so good is that we didn’t qualify for it and they told us why. That was the hard slap-in-the-face that put an end to our frivolous (but never actually extravagant) lifestyle. They told us that, at the rate we could afford, it would take us about 9 years to get out of all our “bad” debt (meaning not even including the student loans), and they didn’t let anyone in the program who couldn’t pay them back in 5 years. They suggested that we cut our already sparse expenses to the bone and get our income up (remember I’d just gotten my job; I think we already knew Angie was pregnant at this point, too). This was the winter of our discontent…

Our 11th Anniversary, Part 2

On Saturday, we awoke at a leisurely hour, having had our first uninterrupted night of sleep in, well, about 16 months. We breakfasted in the hotel on the patio, and headed off for a day of fun starting at...

the World of Coca-Cola! We debated between the High Museum and this, and finally decided that the WoC-C encompassed what we'd want from the High (look at art, albeit somewhat more focused on one particular subject) while being more refreshing in terms of giving us a lot of free Coke products. Win-win! It actually turned out to be pretty fascinating, with a history of the company, a couple of extremely strange movies (one of which was in 4-D, which is like 3-D only more painful), a tour of how Coke is made and bottled (you get to keep a souvenir bottle), and, as I mentioned earlier, some incredible Coke-related art including an exhibit that had just been installed the night before. Pretty cool.

From there we drove over to IKEA, as Angie had never been and wanted to check it out. We had a lunch/snack of Swedish meatballs (excellent!) at their cafeteria, looked around for about 5 minutes, then proceeded to walk for like, 7 more hours, just desperately trying to find the exit. That place is enormous, and there's apparently only one way out. God forbid they ever have a fire; hundreds would perish in a blaze of solid-colored Euro-snob particle board.

After a much-needed rest following all that walking, we headed to Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen for dinner. They had a great little New Orleans-style jazz trio of older men playing on the patio while we waited to be seated. The place was packed, and we had a pretty long wait, but that was fine with me. The food was excellent, and our server was very attentive. We debated trying to make it to a movie after that, but honestly, we were pretty beat.

On Sunday, we went to church, and then finished off our weekend with lunch at Rico's World Kitchen in Buford, GA. This is a tiny little restaurant in a converted service station that we heard about from friends, and it was far and away the best food we had all weekend. I couldn't believe it; I was absolutely blown away by how good every bite was. The service was nice, and the atmosphere was very comfortable. It was a fantastic end to our anniversary weekend.

I would say that the best part of all this was just getting to hang out for the equivalent of two whole days alone with my wife. Having three kids, you sometimes end up just playing defense, as they say, and you don't always take time to enjoy each other's company. This was a wonderful little getaway that was still close to home, and I couldn't be happier with how it turned out. That said, I am looking forward to going even bigger next year.

Our 11th Anniversary, Part 1

Last weekend (not Memorial Day, but the one before that) was our 11th Anniversary. In the week leading up to it, we paid off our last debt: Daniel's hospital bill. We are now officially debt-free except for our house!!! We will be on the phone with Dave Ramsey live on the air this Friday, June 11th between 3 and 4 PM, at which time we will finally be able to shout this great news to the world via radio waves! As Angie mentioned in the previous post, that moves us on to Baby Step #3, building up an emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses. (Actually, this month, we'll be using our newfound leftover money to pay for some much-needed personal items that we've put off while getting out of debt, and for this year's trip to Ohio. Next month, though, begins the serious savings push.) But I digress...

This post was supposed to be about our 11th Anniversary weekend. Since we've become parents, Angie and I rarely get to have any extended time to ourselves. As Angie mentioned here, we've had only two weekends alone together since having children (yes, I realize the link is to a post from almost two years ago; the tally has not changed since then). So for this, the first weekend of our married lives as a debt-free couple, we budgeted for a hotel relatively nearby, free baby-sitting from my generous parents, and a weekend of finding stuff to do in Atlanta.

Our first stop for the weekend was dinner Friday night at Sushi Niko Niko, which we were told means Sushi "with a smile." Angie and I first tried sushi on our honeymoon in Savannah as an appetizer, and it was great. We've had it occasionally as appetizers since, but never as the full meal. The restaurant itself is just a little store-front among the outdoor shops across from the Mall of Georgia, and even though friends had recommended it, I have to admit the exterior made me a little skeptical. This place was awesome! We had some sort of sampler of several different types of sushi, and I liked every one of them. Angie enjoyed hers, but didn't care for some of the crunchier offerings. Overall, I loved it, but Angie thought she'd stick with sushi as an appetizer in the future.

In our next installment, we'll discuss Saturday, our actual anniversary day. Be sure to stay tuned.

Since our last post . . .

I would hope that the people who follow this blog are people that we are in regular communication with and therefore know what has gone on since our last post, but for posterity's sake I will update the blog.

Daniel made it home from the hospital in time for Joshua's first birthday. We have yet to do a party for our children's first birthday so we weren't going to start with our third child. We just stayed home, and Joshua got to eat his first cupcake. He made a fabulous mess and really enjoyed it. His Grandmama Hipps (Grandaddy was sick so he couldn't come) came up the next day bearing gifts. Just one example of how sweet and generous their grandparents are is the "un"birthday gifts that they bring for the other grandchildren. One of Joshua's gifts was Fifteen Animals by Sandra Boynton. He loves this book. We have read it hundreds of times to date. We already had a CD with this book in song form so we will read it and then sing it, much to Joshua's delight. Two weeks after Joshua's first birthday we recorded his first steps on our flip camera. He is now walking all of the time. It is so neat to watch the transition of a child taking his first steps, to walking some of the time but crawling most of the time, to walking more than crawling, to walking all the time.

A few days after we captured Joshua's first steps, Daniel had an appointment with an allergist. We found out that he is asthmatic, allergic to peanuts (which we already knew), cats (we suspected) and dust mites. We also found out that he is not allergic to strawberries as I had once thought, so he has since tried one strawberry. He liked it alright. So now Daniel takes Advair for his asthma in addition to his daily Zyrtek for allergies. He was fine until Spring sprung (although he didn't test positive for seasonal allergies) so he has had to use his inhaler a couple of times since he had a slight wheeze and some coughing. I have done a good bit of dusting and vacuuming to get the dust mite population under control. We also just had our air conditioner serviced since it wasn't working great and the allergist had said that dust mites like humid conditions so climate control is important.

Shortly after this I pulled Maggie's front two teeth. It was a bit traumatic since the second tooth didn't come out with the first yank, but we successfully got it out and she hopefully won't need another extraction anytime soon. Whereas Daniel lost a tooth just the other night after we put them to bed. He had apparently been wiggling it with his tongue and it fell out. Thankfully he didn't swallow it.

On February 18, 2010, Davis and I paid off our last credit card. We sent a payment for $2893.63 to Chase to pay them off. The Chase card had been a Washington Mutual card that we had transferred the balance of our MBNA card to. That MBNA card was my very first credit card that I got as a freshman in college with a $1000 limit. Before we started to pay off our debt it had a limit of $18,000 and we had $16,000 charged on it. I can't tell you how thankful we are for Dave Ramsey and his book The Total Money Makeover. We haven't been as "gazelle intense" as we could have, but once we decided that we were done with debt we have moved in the right direction ever since. It's been quite the journey. On March 15th, we paid off Joshua's hospital bill (from his birth), and we will be paying off Daniel's hospital bill next month! Then we can move on to baby step #3, which is to fully fund an emergency fund of 3-6 months living expenses (we will do 6 months since I don't work outside the home).

That about brings us up to date. In less than two weeks, Daniel will turn 8 years old. It is already hard to remember when he was Joshua's age. We recently watched some old home videos, and it was so sweet to hear Daniel's little toddler voice. I am really proud of the young man that we are starting to see take shape in our eldest son. Next month, Maggie has her first dance recital, and after that we plan to have some summer vacations. Hopefully, we'll remember to post something before then.

Daniel Update 8

Today is the DAY!!!! The doctor came in and checked on Daniel this morning and declared that we can go home! His breathing is greatly improved, and his blood oxygen has stayed in the mid-90s since yesterday. They're doing up the paperwork now, which I know can still take a while, and then we can clear out after that. ***breaking news*** As I was typing that last sentence, the nurse came in with the discharge papers, so we're all signed out! She also took off "the glove" and gave him the non-bloody part to take home. They are giving him one farewell breathing treatment while I'm packing things up.

Again, thank you all so much for all the prayers and well-wishes. We know several people who are much more regular visitors to pediatric wards than we are, and while I have always respected these folks, my admiration has increased dramatically over the past 3+ days. I would say I don't know where you find the strength, but honestly, I believe that Jesus answers our prayers, and the people I'm referring to all have friends praying for them. Thanks again, everyone! We're going home now.

Daniel Update 7

This one will be brief. Daniel's breathing is greatly improved, according to all the nurses who listen to him. He's had a good appetite, been drinking lots of fluids, and been able to *ahem* clear gunk out of his lungs and nose. He even got to move around a good bit and play in the playroom they have. He even got to play Spiderman 3 on the Playstation 2 that they have here, and I let him stay up WAY too late watching movies tonight. I only hope I haven't prevented him from getting all the rest that he needs, but he was having a good time, and there's got to be some reward for having such a great attitude this whole time, right?

Daniel Update 6

One more day, at least. That's the latest word. The doctor says Daniel is improved (not gasping for breath anymore, even hours after his treatments), but still has some wheezing and a lot of congestion that he wants to get cleared up before sending us out into the world. Also, the much-mentioned blood oxygen levels are hovering in the 93-94 range. Honestly, I've never heard so much talk of "O2 Sats" in all my life, and I hope I never do again. Still, he's well enough to be off the IV fluids, so he's a little more free to move around the room and hall, not to mention finally getting to play his DS! Right now he's still playing games on my iPhone, but he's excited about the possibilities. The doctor did mention that once we do go home, he's going to want Daniel to see an allergist so that we can maybe prevent whatever triggered this thing from happening again in the future, or at least keep it manageable from home.

Daniel's spirits remain high, although honestly I think he's a fairly contented child in general. Give him a video game, a fun movie, or some Legos and he's good. Plus no schoolwork; that seems to be a bonus in his view. He was upset when the doctor said we'd be here another day, but he moved past it pretty quickly with some breakfast and Curious George on the TV. So, to sum up: one more day, needs more blood oxygen and less congestion, needs less wheezing and more DS-playing. Thanks again for all the prayers, everyone. I have a sneaking suspicions they're largely responsible the improvement thus far, and for our continued sanity.

Daniel Update 5

So, now we play the waiting game... I'm really bad at this particular game. Daniel is doing well, as far as I can tell. He's had a lot more food and water today than yesterday, and (*warning for the squeamish* - potentially gross parts coming up; skip ahead to the next sentence if you need to) he's been getting stuff out of his nose and coughing stuff up successfully all afternoon and evening. The nurses say this is good, that he's moving the problem out of his lungs. The only real issue (aside from still having a slight wheeze) seems to be that his blood oxygen levels have continued to hover around the low end of OK, which is a problem in that if he needs to be given oxygen again, then we'd have to stay yet another night, which would be pretty bad for team morale. So, please pray that Daniel's blood oxygen levels get back to normal on their own and stay consistent so that we can go home. Also, please pray that there would be no trace of a wheeze, and that he'd be able to breathe normally.

Thank you all so much. We have been amazed at the amount of heartfelt encouragement and support we've been getting. What a blessing, to have such friends and family. Thank you.

Daniel Update 4

Daniel's doctor checked on him this morning and said he's doing much better. He also ordered Daniel's IV turned down since he didn't seem to be wanting to eat or drink much. He did have some pancakes this morning, and he seemed excited about the lunch and dinner possibilities. Everyone says he's sounding better, and his blood oxygen has stayed at 95 since they gave him the oxygen last night. He's not struggling for breath nearly as much as yesterday, although he's still not up to perfect. The doctor said that frequently when these attacks come on suddenly, it ends up being a couple of days before the child is back to normal. He also said that Daniel is doing better than he'd expected, so that's good.

Daniel's been in good spirits this whole time, although he's getting tired of wearing the "glove" (the IV is held in place with a mesh wrap around his wrist and hand), since it prevents him from playing video games and it itches. For now, though, he's entertaining himself with movies on my computer, and an iPhone game I have that doesn't require him to use his right hand. At this point, I expect we'll be able to leave tomorrow. Thanks to everyone for all the thoughts and prayers. Daniel was impressed that I kept being able to tell him new people who are hoping and praying for his quick recovery. His parents really appreciate it, too.

Daniel Update 3

It's 12:45am. Daniel has been sound asleep for about an hour or so. His most recent xopenx treatment was at 11:30, and the Tech said his wheezing was much better, now just a slight wheeze on exhale, whereas it had been a heavy wheeze on inhale and exhale. So that's good news.

However, the nurse just now checked his blood oxygen and it was at 89 (100 is what it should be) so she had to give him some oxygen. Aside from the reasons mentioned by Ashley in the comments to the previous post, the nurse also said they'd been trying to avoid giving him oxygen because there's apparently a rule that the patient has to stay at least 24 hours after oxygen has been administered. So, now we're here for 2 nights. Oh well. At least he's doing better, and he slept through the nose plug session. *sigh*

Daniel Update 2

So, the iPhone battery died before I could get the update published. It is now just past 8:30. Since 7pm, Daniel has had his chest X-ray, another xopenx mixture, and they've given him another fluid drip. His blood oxygen levels are on the borderline of where they give him oxygen or not, so they're trying not to. If he dips below the border again, they'll probably give him some. Not sure what the reasoning behind giving or not giving it might be. Angie, Maggie, and Joshua came by again just before 8 to bring me a change of clothes and my iPhone charger. Maggie was broken-hearted that the whole family wouldn't be together at night. Daniel consoled her with tales of his wheelchair ride to wear a lead apron for his X-ray. This helped a little. The worst part for Daniel is that they put the IV in his right hand, and they instructed him to do his best not to wiggle it, so he can't even play his Nintendo DS. This is really the worst part of the whole affair. However, as he says, "as long as we're not here for 4 or 5 or 6 days, it's not too bad. Also, I got to wear a mask! (a breathing treatment mask) Plus, they brought me my own food and I got to request a movie. Also, I got to ride in a wheelchair! And I also have my own hospital bed, my own room, and my own TV with my own remote!" So, all in all, it's not too bad.

Daniel Update 1

It's about 7pm. So far, he's had one treatment of xopenx + something ,
they've drawn some blood, and he's gotten a steroid by IV, and he's
now on some sort of IV drip, which I assume is why he's not
particularly hungry. His doctor has been in to check on him once. He
told us they're going to give him the xopenx mixture every 3 hours,
and he'll check on us tomorrow. iPhone battery low, future updates
after charging.

Daniel

We've checked Daniel into the hospital. They're going to give him breathing treatments, take some blood for testing, give him a chest X-ray, a steroid IV, possibly a fluid IV if he doesn't start drinking more water and juice, and keep him for at least one night, from what I understand. Apparently, the official orders for specific treatment aren't in the system yet, so we won't know for certain until they are, but the Tech and the Nurse both seemed to think that was the normal course. Please keep him in your prayers, as this will be his first overnight hospital stay (apart from his birth, I mean.) We'll update as we can.

This Christmas Season - Part 2

How is it that Christmas seems to sneak up on us every year? I don't mean that generally, I mean, us, the Hipps family, and me most of all. It's like I'm the only person on the planet who didn't have twelve months to come up with a plan.

In fairness to myself (or, more likely, as a way of making excuses), it seems to me that we did have a lot going on. To start, the cruise which I mentioned in the previous post came with a great deal of stress and mental effort in the form of getting Angie a passport. For this, she would need her birth certificate, which we found easily in the filing cabinet where my highly-organized wife keeps all of our important papers, and which was promptly mislaid and feared to have been accidentally thrown away. I mean, this puppy was missing for weeks. Angie was born in Hawaii, so we had to apply to Hawaii for a new copy and pray that a recent copy of a Hawaiian birth certificate would mean more to the folks in the passport office than it does to some people. A day or two before the replacement arrived, we did finally manage to find the birth certificate in a place it totally shouldn't have been, and Angie was able to make her rescheduled passport appointment. Hooray!

Our next pre-holiday hurdle was... the dishwasher. I was going to go into a lengthy explanation of this debacle, but in the interest of time, suffice to say that our dishwasher went to that great appliance service center in the sky. Actually, it died on us and went to rest against the side of our house where it currently resides while we wait for the yard gnomes to drag it to their underground lair or something; I've forgotten why I haven't taken it to the city dump already. Anyway, it shuffled off its heating coil and we had to buy a replacement. I realize you may say that we didn't have to buy a replacement, in that it's a modern convenience and we could just wash the dishes by hand. We tried this for over a week, but with the number of dishes we generate, we were spending all of our free time at the sink, to the point where the kids were having to come in there to say their prayers at night and, in the daytime, asking if they were really careful, could they please just drive the van themselves to a park or someplace just to get out of the house. So a replacement became a mental health requirement, and one was found and purchased at BrandsMart.

This was all well and good, except that a) in the interest of saving money, we installed it ourselves, which was a lot of hard and, at times, painful work, and b) it took up a sizable chunk of our would-be Christmas budget. Oh well.

We followed this up with Thanksgiving, for which Angie and the kids went to Columbus for the week and I arrived Thanksgiving Eve. The purpose here was to give Joshua a good long time to hang out with his Grandmama, since she'd be coming less than two weeks later to stay with us while Angie went cruising. The week after that we prepped for the cruise with meal-planning and whatnot, and the week after that was the cruise, which I believe I've covered enough. After a day or so for Angie to readjust to family life, we were finally able to buy our first Christmas presents on Thursday, December 17th. Today is Wednesday, December 23rd, two days before the blessed event, and I believe we're almost done with our shopping. Well, Angie's done, and I'm nearly done. Fortunately for me, there's hardly anybody out shopping this late in the season, so I should be able to wrap things up today. Actually, I probably won't have time to wrap until tomorrow. Or Saturday.

This Christmas Season - Part 1

So, the updates to the blog have been lacking. I'd like to say that's because life has been so busy and exciting that we just haven't had time to write about it. Some weeks that is true, but mostly we're just exhausted at the end of the day and don't get around to describing even the interesting events. I suspect this has a lot to do with a certain someone who tends to keep us on our toes.

Interesting events have happened, however, the most recent of which began last week. Last Wednesday, Angie and 5 of her friends went on a cruise to celebrate the 40th birthday of one of the friends. A great time was had by all until the last scheduled day of the cruise, when fog in the port kept them from being able to dock, and they had to spend another night at sea. I hear you saying, "oh, waa, an extra free night on a cruise ship; I feel so sorry for them," and I can see your point. However, these are (mostly) moms we're talking about here, and, to hear them tell it, once they'd switched into the mindset of "I'm going home to see my children," then the fun of being on the cruise ended and the anxiousness to get home began. Also, there was a loud and disturbingly violent fist-fight across the hall on the last actual night, which did nothing to soothe their anxiety. They did finally make it home safe and sound, however...

which is good, because while they were away, times at the Hipps household were a bit on the rough side. My wonderful mom came to stay with us while Angie was away, and I honestly don't think I'd have made it without her. Not that I couldn't handle the kids normally, you understand, for even days at a time; it's just that this was not normal. Maggie had a cold, which made her pitiful at first. Joshua seemed to be getting one when Angie left, and so for the first couple of days I treated it as such. He got a fever, I gave him Tylenol. He had trouble breathing, I put him on the nebulizer. Not the way I'd like to spend the Christmas season, but we were managing.

By Saturday, however, things had not improved. In fact, he'd been waking up every hour or so and just screaming every night. The post linked above mentions that Joshua had "yet to discover just how wonderful his grandmama is," but brother, I believe he knows it now! She would get up and rock him or hold him and he would sleep kind of upright in her arms for a couple of hours in the night. Much Diet Coke (and a little wine) was consumed during the daytime to keep us awake and ease the stress of screaming baby. He was never his usual bright, sunny self, and although he actually slept really well Saturday night (I even thought his breathing sounded better when I woke up Sunday), he pretty much slept for the entire day Sunday. He was incredibly clingy, and just really pitiful. On Monday, the doctor pronounced that he had RSV and an ear infection, which explained the fever and screaming. He perked up a little after the first round of antibiotics, but the biggest improvement came the next day with the return of Mommy! The change was just astounding! He went from listless and pitiful to energetic and happy in about 6 minutes. All of a sudden he was babbling and cooing, crawling around the whole house with a smile on his face as if all was right with the world! I felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief for him at last, and it started to feel like Christmas around here again.

In Part 2 of This Christmas Season, I'll be discussing why it is that we just bought our first Christmas presents yesterday, December 17th...

Fatherhood

...a long, serious post after a seriously long break...

A few weeks ago our church had its first service in its new, permanent building, and it was, quite frankly, amazing in every way. Pastor Tony spoke about where we've been as a church, and pumped up the excitement about where we're going. And while there were several points that made me think, the one that stuck in my mind the most in the days that followed was actually just an aside. He mentioned that he occasionally ("every Monday morning," was the exact phrase, if I recall) felt overwhelmed and frustrated about being a pastor, and, as an aside, he invited those of us who are parents to "be honest" and admit that we've occasionally had similar feelings.

That got me thinking a great deal about my experience as a father. Actually, it was that and a few other events that took place around that time. For one, I found out that afternoon that my brother's college roommate had been killed in a car wreck the night before. This was a guy I'd known since elementary school, when he and Bennett had first become friends. I think we may have even been in a chorus together. Incidentally, I found out about the accident through Facebook, which was a surreal experience that I may have to write about some other time. As if this wasn't sobering enough, when I called my brother to give him the news, he informed me that he himself had been in a wreck earlier in the week - that his car had been hit by a bus, in fact! Just the idea that someone I love had been involved in a situation so closely linked with death in my mind at the moment was heart-wrenching, terrifying. As I say, it got me thinking a lot about my time with those closest to me, and especially about my experience as a father.

More often than I will admit to anyone in person (the expressionless face of a blog can provide a great ear for embarrassing secrets), I have put off doing things with my children because of what I call tiredness, which really boils down to a lazy selfishness. I don't want to exert the energy, I just want to read a book, I just want to veg out in front of the TV or Internet, me, me, me! Certainly, there are times when it's good to be alone, but these years when the children actually want me to do things with them, as opposed to being mortified that I am related to them, are not going to last that long. I know this from the older parents who've told me, and I've seen it first-hand in my own life, as Daniel and Maggie develop dad-less interests by which I've never been enticed. Maggie is a great artist, and while I can be creative, and I enjoy writing and music, I've never been much for drawing or painting. She can't get enough of it. Daniel has developed a love of all things Pokemon, which may be simultaneously the most unusual and least interesting series of games / cards I've ever come across. I'd rather watch golf, for crying out loud!

All that to say, I intend to start doing my best to focus on enjoying my children while they're young. I think I do an OK job at this now, but, as I alluded above, there are times when being a father can be overwhelming and frustrating, usually when I'm already tired or feeling self-focused. So I will be making a more concerted effort in hopes that later in life I won't regret not having done so. Who knows? Maybe it will even head off the whole mortification thing. For the record, I don't believe I have ever been mortified to be related to my own father, and I hope to live up to the example he set.

Graduation

Now that Joshua is 7 months old and sitting up unassisted he has graduated to bathtime in the bathtub instead of the kitchen sink. It's not as easy on the knees and back for mommy, but at least I don't end up soaked.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday. Considering that I met my husband when I was 15 and my mom died when I was 17 she is much more like an actual mother to me than a mother-in-law. She is a remarkable woman. She is gracious, caring, gentle, loving, wise, humble, generous, hospitable and a wonderful cook! On top of being a fantastic mother-in-law, she is the best grandmother! Our kids love her. She always stocks the pantry with our kids' favorite foods before we visit, she has toys, books, and movies for the kids at the grandparents' house. She lets them play the piano in their living room. She will light saber fight with Daniel and play tea with Maggie in the same hour. She reads, plays, bathes, feeds, rocks and spoils her grandbabies (in a good way). Joshua has yet to discover just how wonderful his grandmama (that's what we call her) is, but I know that it won't take long. Just one of the fond memories I have of my mother-in-law is when she came to stay with us right after Daniel was born (she arrived at the hospital a few minutes after Daniel was born). Not only did she tidy up the house while we were at the hospital, she went grocery shopping and prepared a meal for us. Then one night when I was up in the middle of the night with a screaming new born she came to my rescue. I couldn't get him to breastfeed or calm down. I was on the verge of a melt down when she came and took him to the nursery/guest bedroom and sang and rocked him until he went to sleep. I was able to get a couple hours of sleep and it made all the difference in the world. She was also there to encourage me (along with Davis) when breastfeeding was a struggle and we had to go to a lactation consultant. I honestly don't know if I can say enough about my mother-in-law. She is truly a blessing and I am so very thankful for her. She raised a great son (two actually) that has become a wonderful husband and father. I love her more than I can say so that is why I wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday on our blog today! I'm extremely grateful that she was born. I love you, Mom, and I hope you have a great day!

Never leave your camera

This weekend I went to a lovely baby shower for a church friend. I took my digital camera with every intention of taking some pictures of the event and of our friends. However, I was asked to take some pictures of the shower for the mother-to-be with her digital camera so I left my camera sitting on a table. It wasn't until after I was home from the shower and leaving to go out with my family that I discovered that my digital camera wasn't in my purse. I then called the hostess of the shower and asked her if I had left it at her home. She said that I had, and sent it home with another friend that would give it back to me at church the next day. I retrieved said camera at church the next day without incident. Then lo and behold when I uploaded the pictures from my camera onto the computer I found this gem.

So let this be a lesson to never leave your camera unattended; you never know what you might find.